What's It Worth?

With the continuous sense of entitlement that rushes through current American society with the might of a tidal wave, what happens to the little ones who have these people as parents? Rooms full of useless toys, but not concern for their actual well being or needs. Its keeping up with the Joneses to the level of abuse and neglect.

Case in point. The arts are completely out of the public school system. Anything that aids in the opening of the human mind such as literature, theatre and visual arts are all but gone. So with this reality in our soon to be third world nation, many teachers and concerned parents get together and form organizations that provide children with these foundations for free thought and creativity, in order to hold on to some vision of culture.

However, these after school programs are not free.

For a single mother these programs can be costly when doing the rest of the basic survival budget. Especially when child support is no where to be seen. What is she forced to do? Well things that a great deal of spoiled American adults would never be will to do. Go without. What a concept. Going without. who would have thought that would aid in the decency and proper education of a child. Now its not unheard of to have children not get everything they want, but a proper education should not be included in that sacrifice. In fact, it is the obligation of the parent to sacrifice their take out, new clothes, and un-necessaries in order to make sure that their children get the well rounded education that is so important in our nations tumultuous times.

Unfortunately a lot of parents don't feel this way. In fact, a great deal of non-custodial parents feel they don't have to provide anything at all in the way of support. Say a single mother gets $100 a week in child support. The parent paying the support may think that this $100 absolves him/her from ever having to provide any other kind of support for his/her child whether they see the child or not. It in fact doesn't. That support (as little as it is) is for basic necessities. That doesn't include education, health and socialization.

Why are brand new cars, gym memberships and flat screen televisions more important to parents these days than their children having the basic necessities and a proper education? This seems so monstrous to me. I cant even begin to understand it, even though I see it everyday. Parents that literally buy their kids clothing at Goodwill, but drive around in Audi's. These people should have a sense of shame for that, and are teaching their children lessons that are completely opposite from what should be taught. Selfishness, materialism and disregard for the things in life that really do matter.

Do we blame reality TV or do we blame the credit card companies? Because we know we are not going to blame ourselves. Living in poverty has been a awakening that I cannot compare to anything else I have ever known. I have found genuine people, coupons can help, and what is really important in life. The most important thing in life is in fact life. All the possessions, toys, big houses and crap that people fill their lives with instead of caring for their children is just tomorrows garbage. Do I feel privileged to be a mother? Absolutely. Do I wish I had a better support system? Without a doubt. Will I trade in my integrity in order to have the things in life that everyone else has? Well I haven't yet, but as the years go on I'm not sure how much longer I can hold out. I don't want a new car, big house or even a flat screen television, I just want the ability to provide my son with the best education available to us. Imagine that being a wish.

I have said to myself for years, "Someday it will get better." Well someday has taken 38 years and i think that someday is already here, and it hasn't gotten better. Should I replace acceptance with viciousness? Should I replace smiles with screams? Should I give up the hope of love for money? Everyone else does, so why shouldn't I? Because I'm an adult and not a prostitute by profession. I don't have a problem with women who choose prostitution as a profession, but I do in fact have a problem with women who do the same thing and call it marriage. At least a hooker is up front. They are providing pleasure for money. They do not perform under the guise that they actually care about the person in order to somehow gain a house and car. If your attraction to a person is contingent on how much money they make and what possessions they have, then you could be construed as a prostitute, well at least to someone with integrity.

A Bit on the Narcissistic Side

The recent floods in marriages and remarriages amongst people of the 30-40 age group can border the astounding when I really put my mind to it. The stench of desperation in the air as people who are unsuited for each other marry in order not to be alone and spend their evenings and weekends under the influence of alcohol to make life less painful. Wouldn't that be more depressing then being alone? Couldn't there be something better then settling for less in order to have someone to bring to the mundane parties thrown by others who share the same, pathetic fate?
Perhaps the most interesting of these marriages are the women who define themselves by it. As if marriage validates the mistreatment of their husbands and the husbands that have come before them. I have found, that a great deal of the married women I know (with some exceptions) use married as an accomplishment. Which by definition is not. A great deal of unaccomplished, uninteresting and unintelligent women seem to think that marriage is their claim to fame. As if the marriage ceremony immediately gives license to their advice and unsolicited opinion, and makes it in anyway viable. A particular member of The View should be proof enough of that.
The truth to the matter is that marriage is a choice and it in no way adds to or depreciates the value of the individual in anyway. However, is it so sad if the title of "Wife" or "Husband" makes someone feel as if they are part of something important. A non-exclusive group of individuals that share similar stories and few changes among them. Bloody Mary, Cape Codder, and gin and tonic mark the times of day as they become the only welcome companion to the drudgery that is the married life. Is it still better than having a close knit group of friends you actually find interesting?
That may be the worst part of the pathetic scaredy marriages, is the way that friends are completely dropped. Why is that? I must admit I have a couple of married friends, very accomplished, incredibly interesting to whom I still speak to on a relatively frequent basis, where as the mundane nine to fivers somehow never have time to even return a phone call. Knowing a proud divorce' who has sworn off marriage forever after having been in one which was devoid of passion but financially convenient, I was told that they hate being around their single friends because the spouse gets jealous or they don't want to hear about life that exists outside the marriage. Depressing? I find it again, pathetic and a terrible and selfish excuse when not being a good friend.
In the end, friends are what is really important, because they love their friends for nothing more then their company, where as with spouses their is always sex and money and both lead to the most heinous of crimes and the worst of intentions. All this being nothing more than a reactionary rant prompted by watching a friend ruin his life in order to make someone Else's more comfortable. Someone who isn't at all worth it, and when he learns that lesson, it will alter the person he is forever. All this to not be alone. How can any word other than pathetic be used? Not to be mistaken for an insult, pathetic describes the reasoning for the union and the existing body of it while a piece of the soul decays with every passing year untill all that is left is a couple of ill company only interesting around their drunked kindred spirits couples who their their fate.
This is of course just an observation of a thirty something person who finds time around married couples suffocating and false. As mentioned earlier their are the obvious exceptions, but observation can be an extremely powerful tool.